Funny Friday

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Having posted stories about actors, directors and movies over the last few Bytes days, what better them for Funny Friday . . .

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Some jokes . . .

What’s the best question to ask when you meet an actor in Los Angeles?

Can I have some more coffee?

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Actresses and actors who lose an Oscar all get the opportunity to act together.

Happy for the person who won.

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I went to the cinema yesterday...

...I was buying popcorn, a drink and some sweets.

As I went to pay I said, "I'm ever so sorry, I've only got a $100 note."

The lady said, "That's ok, you can put the sweets back!"

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A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called Condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one For Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "two For Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies.

"Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March..."

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From the vault . . .

Some famous actors decide to make a movie about classical musicians

They immediately begin to claim roles.

Robert Downey, Jr. says “I’ll be Mozart.”

Nicolas Cage says “I’ll be Beethoven.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger says “I’ll be Bach!”

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Limerick of the Week . . .

There was a young woman, quite handsome,

Who got stuck in a sleeping room transom.

When she offered much gold

For release, she was told

That the view was worth more than the ransom.

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Gallery . . .

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Corn Corner . . .

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You wanna know why we say "Break a leg" to actors?

Because every show has a cast.

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A Mexican actor died while performing stunts for a movie.

During the funeral, his mother walks towards the director and says,

"Jesus died for your scenes."

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Does anybody know which actor played Forrest Gump?

Thanks

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If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life....

Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?