Thursday, May 16, 2024
FUNNY FRIDAY
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Helllo again.
The Federal Budget having been handed down a few days ago by the Treasurer Jim Chalmers it seems appropriate that today’s Funny Friday theme is money.
Enjoy. . .
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SOME HUMOUR:
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Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter and laid off half the staff, he’s planning on buying YouTube and Facebook and doing the same with them. To save even more money, he plans on merging the three companies into one…
…He’s going to call it YouTwitFace.
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A robber pulled a gun on the bank clerk and manager saying, “Give me all the money! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession. You know, initial investment is needed to cover the overheads until my cash flow is established.”
The bank manager said to the clerk, “You’d better do what he says, I think he means business.”
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A man wanted to literally die with his money so he trusted a third of his money to a priest, a third to a doctor, and a third to his lawyer to bury him with it when he died.
After his death, at the man’s funeral the priest whispered to his dead body and placed a bag in his coffin. The doctor then proceeded to whisper to the body and placed a bag in there as well. Then the lawyer went and dropped off a bag and moved on.
As they were carpooling back from the funeral the lawyer asked what the priest whispered. The priest — with tears in his eyes — said that he had to confess he spent some of the money on an orphanage so that some hungry kids would not starve and that he feels bad for what he had done, but that he had no choice.
The doctor then admits that he too had to let him know that one of his patients needed a surgery that he alone could not do, that he spent some of the money to save the person’s life.
The lawyer looks at them with scorn and says, “How could you? You have betrayed a man’s last and dying request!” The doctor and priest look at the lawyer and asks, “So your bag had all the money he entrusted you with?” To which he replies, “Damn right, I wrote the cheque for the full amount, not a penny less!”
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I asked God for money.
I later found out that God doesn't work that way.
So I robbed a bank, then asked for forgiveness.
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When I was a boy my dad gave my money to go downtown and pay the electric bill but instead I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a truck. I told my dad when I got home and he beat my ass but the next morning in the driveway sat a new truck. We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from electric company there to turn the lights off.
....Dad beat my ass again ....
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A jewel thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewellery and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can even pistol whip me, but please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!”
Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.
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A lawyer was sitting in his office late one night, when Satan appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul and the souls of your wife and your children.”
The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"
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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:
There once was a farmer from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
It soon came to pass
He was covered with grass
But has all the tomatoes he needs!
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GALLERY:
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CORN CORNER:
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What’s the favourite band at the Alzheimer’s home?
The Who?
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My father told me “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
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What is a profession that begins with “P”, is often criticised, and is known for screwing people and taking their money?
Politician.
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I’m a good man, I give 50% of my money to Charity.
Except when she’s not working I give it to Destiny .
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
PHOTOGRAPHS
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From Historic Talk at:
by Jason Pasos
Images That Shed a New Light on History –
Nostalgia can be a powerful thing. We've all heard people say things like, "Things were different back then" or "When we grew up back then...." But it can be pretty easy to forget about many of the not-so-wholesome trends and ways of life that were considered normal only 50 or 60 years ago. Following is some vintage media from that era that reflect the reality of the good ol' days.
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What They Meant When They Said "Fun for the 'Entire' Family":
Gender roles were much different even a couple of decades ago, and it wasn't hard to find advertisements similar to this one. This is an early advertisement for Milton Bradley's classic Battleship game. The ad shows a father and son playing the game at the kitchen table, but the mother and daughter are suspiciously absent.
They're absent from the fun for the "entire family." Instead, they can be seen washing the dishes in the background. Historically, that was where women were expected to spend most of their time.
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One Ahead-Of-Her-Times Woman Had Something to Say About This Car Ad:
While a lot of the ads and photos on this list reflect popular views from a different era, not everyone shared those views. This graffiti on a billboard advertisement in the U.K. is a perfect example of that. The vintage advertisement would no doubt be considered sexist by today's standards, and apparently, it was also considered a bit sexist even by standards back then.
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Back in 1962, Workers Competed in "Asbestos Shovelling Competitions"
Today, it's common knowledge that asbestos is extremely dangerous. However, it used to be hailed as a miraculous material and used in everything from cigarette filters to roofs. This vintage photo was taken at an asbestos shovelling competition in the town of Wittenoom in the Pilbara region of Australia. At the time (1962), there was an asbestos mine there, so it was common for workers and their families to be exposed to the material.
Today, the area is deemed contaminated and unlivable. Historically, the surrounding town had around 20,000 residents living there at its peak. More than 2,000 of those residents have since succumbed to asbestos-related diseases.
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"Undercover" New York Police In 1969:
This photo is pretty funny. In 1969, New York was seeing a spike in attacks on women, so police went undercover in drag in order to try and catch the criminals. However, from the looks of this vintage photo, not everyone was fooled. The two women in the background are obviously wondering what's going on here. It's also good to note that this was a historical time when drag wasn't widely accepted.
So that could also help explain why the two women have such perplexed looks on their faces. Reportedly, this tactic did help clamp down on violence and crime, though.
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Old Lysol Ad Encouraged Women to Use It for Feminine Hygiene:
If you needed any more proof that things were different back in the day, then look no further than this old historical ad from Lysol. The company is still around today, but they aren't putting out ads like this anymore. It tells the story of a wife who won her husband back after using Lysol... for feminine hygiene. Today, we know that this kind of stuff is actually pretty unhealthy.
We also know that ads like this are outdated and that nobody should be put in a position where they're expected to try and "win back" their significant other back.
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This Toy Set Would Never Fly Today:
Here's another photo that shows just how drastically things have changed in the last 50 to 60 years. It used to be okay for companies to sell children's toys like the one pictured here. Historically, even after toys like this were removed from shelves, it wasn't uncommon to see characters smoking in cartoons or candy cigarettes being sold on supermarket shelves. Today, such things would be virtually unthinkable.
The toy set in this photo also includes batteries, which is pretty weird to see, considering you have to buy your own no matter what kind of toy you buy today.
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Mama Was Shocked, to Say the Least:
Countries around the world celebrate Mardi Gras or Carnival in some form or another, but not everyone is familiar with Sydney, Australia's take on the holiday. In that country, Mardi Gras is used as a sort of Pride celebration. The celebration started in 1978, although this photo was taken in 1994. The woman looks like she's a bit surprised to see some of the attire worn by local revellers.
By the time this vintage shot was taken, the Sydney Mardi Gras had been going on for a couple of decades, so this shouldn't have come as that much of a surprise.
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More to come.
Tuesday, May 14, 2024
AESOP’S FABLE
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The Ant and the Dove
An ant went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning. A dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her. The ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank. Shortly afterwards a birdcatcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the dove, which sat in the branches. The ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the birdcatcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the dove take wing.
Moral:
One good turn deserves another
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Another version:
A Dove saw an Ant fall into a brook. The Ant struggled in vain to reach the bank, and in pity, the Dove dropped a blade of straw close beside it. Clinging to the straw like a shipwrecked sailor to a broken spar, the Ant floated safely to shore.
Soon after, the Ant saw a man getting ready to kill the Dove with a stone. But just as he cast the stone, the Ant stung him in the heel, so that the pain made him miss his aim, and the startled Dove flew to safety in a distant wood.
A kindness is never wasted.
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A further version:
An Ant, going to a river to drink, fell in, and was carried along in the stream. A Dove pitied her condition, and threw into the river a small bough, by means of which the Ant gained the shore. The Ant afterward, seeing a man with a fowling-piece aiming at the Dove, stung him in the foot sharply, and made him miss his aim, and so saved the Dove’s life.
Little friends may prove great friends.
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Moral of the fable:
The moral of the story is that a good deed never goes unnoticed and comes back to us in one form or another.
The dove’s act of kindness returned to him when the ant saved his life from the hunter, i.e., if you do good, good will come to you.
Similarly, in life, doing good deeds and helping people might come back to us in some form. It’s the same with evil deeds, which may come back to us in some form.
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From Wikipedia:
There has been little variation in the fable since it was first recorded in Greek sources. An ant falls into a stream and a dove comes to the rescue by holding out a blade of grass to allow it to climb out. Then, noticing that a fowler was about to catch the dove, the ant bit his foot and his sudden movement caused the bird to fly away.
Other interpretations have been made of the fable. In a 1947 postcard series it is turned into a political statement in the aftermath of the occupation of France by the Nazis. There a little boy with a slingshot distracts a man with an armband labelled "Law" from chasing a girl who is running away with stolen apples in her pinafore.
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By the way:
The expression ‘one good turn deserves another’ has been in the language since at least 1636, as here in William Camden’s Remaines concerning Britaine:
“One good turne asketh another.”
‘One good turn deserves another’ is in use in colloquial English but is also a legal concept in the area of trade or exchange of goods or services. A contract has been said to be binding if it is ‘One good turn deserves another’, that is, if it involves an exchange of goods or services for something of value, usually money.
The proverb is often used to describe corrupt practice, where favours (notably political or sexual favours) are illicitly given in exchange for cash. that is, ‘you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours’.
A little wordplay involving the synonyms ‘turn’ and ‘tern’ was used by the scriptwriters of the 1991 thriller movie ‘The Silence of the Lambs‘, starring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins as Clarice Starling and Dr. Hannibal Lecter:
Hannibal Lecter: Plum Island Animal Disease Research Center. Sounds charming.
Clarice Starling: That’s only part of the island. There’s a very, very nice beach. Terns nest there. There’s beautiful…
Hannibal Lecter: Terns? If I help you, Clarice, it will be “turns” for us too. I tell you things, you tell me things. Not about this case, though. About yourself. One good turn deserves another. Yes or no?
Monday, May 13, 2024
CULINARY MOMENTS
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If you have a sensitive stomach, better to avoid the following item.
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Not something that you would find on the Japanese TV series Iron Chef . . .
in 2012 Japanese performance artist Mao Sugiyama had his genitalia surgically removed.
As if that wasn’t strange enough, he took the bits home and cooked them, serving them to guests.
About that:
- He charged guests around $250 per person to eat his severed genitalia in Tokyo, Japan.
- They were garnished with mushrooms and parsley.
- He had initially considered eating his own penis but decided to serve them up instead.
- He cooked the genitalia himself as he was supervised by a chef.
Mao Sugiyama, 22, wearing a chef’s hat, prepares to serve up his genitals as dinner for five paying guests at a party he organised in Tokyo, Japan
- In a Tweet, he offered to cook his penis for a paying guest but ultimately decided to split the ‘meal’ among six guests. He wrote on Twitter: ‘I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen. I’m Japanese.
- In total around 70 people attended the event in the Suginami ward of Tokyo. While five people tucked into Mao Sugiyama’s genitalia, the rest of them ate beef or crocodile.
- The five people who shelled up the money included a curious couple, a male manga artist, a 22-year old woman, and an event planner. All were between the ages of 22 and 32.
- Japanese authorities were notified but chose not to act, as cannibalism is not illegal in Japan.
- Unfortunately for the diners, the meal was underwhelming, with some describing the penis as having a rubbery texture and bland taste.
- When Managing Culinary Director of Serious Eats J. Kenji Lopez-Alt read about the less-than-satisfying entrée, he wrote to CalorieLab saying, “The chef didn’t cook it right. What a waste of a perfectly good penis! Penis is pretty tough and needs to be slow cooked, either sous-vide or in a braise.”
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#2:
San Lorenzo is the Italian and Spanish name for Saint Lawrence, the 3rd-century Christian martyr.
Some facts:
- St Lawrence is the patron saint of cooks, brewers and vintners, butchers, bakers, confectioners, restaurateurs and more.
- Due to his conspiring to hide and protect the written documents of the Church, Lawrence is also known as the patron saint of archivists and librarians.
- August 10 is Saint Larence’s feast day for Italians.
- Lorenzo’s involvement in what was considered a heretical, anti-establishment religion led to his martyrdom: on August 10 in year 258 CE (ie AD), Roman officials sentenced Lorenzo to death, as punishment for his refusal to hand over various goods and treasures he oversaw as a church deacon. He had distributed them to the poor instead.
- According to Christian lore, Lorenzo was placed on a gridiron to “cook” over hot coals, a tale that accounts for the saint’s now-legendary final words: “I’m well-done on this side. Turn me over!”
- While some historians dispute the accuracy of Lorenzo’s martyrdom, associations between the saint and his “death by grilling” remain strong. He is patron saint of barbecues and barbecuing, for instance, and cooks are known to invoke his protection in the kitchen, where burns by heat or fire are a very real threat. Italian kitchens commonly feature small Lorenzo statues, plaques or holy cards.
San Lorenzo
St. Lawrence Distributing the Treasures of the Church
The Martyrdom of Saint Lawrence by Rubens (1614)
Martyrdom of San Lorenzo- by Palma il giovane
The Martyrdom of Saint Lawrence by Girolamo da Santa Croce
Sunday, May 12, 2024
BIG TREES
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The following item was sent to me by colleague and friend Tony Z. Thanks Tony.
Take the time to have a close look at the pics and sppot the human figures for scale, it's like a Where's Wally.
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Just a quiet life in a California forest for all these years ... 3,200!
Not every tree has a nickname, but 'The President' has earned it.
This giant sequoia stands at 247 feet tall & is estimated to be over 3,200 years old.
Imagine, this tree was already 700 years old during the height of ancient Greece's civilization and 1200 years old when Jesus lived while Rome was well into its rule of most of the western world and points beyond.
The trunk of The President measures 27 feet across, with 2 BILLION needles from base to top.
Because of its unbelievable size, this tree has never been photographed in its entirety, until now.
National Geographic photographers have worked along with scientists to try and create the first photo that shows The President in all its glory.
They had to climb the tree with pulleys and levers and took thousands of photos.
Of those, they selected 126 and stitched them together to get this incredible portrait of The President.
And here it is:
The man standing near the trunk of the tree is a good indicator of the tree's size.
Incredible, isn't it?
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Plus some more . . .
The President Tree, July 2023
President Tree, with humans surrounding it with interlocked hands for scale in July 2023
The President Tree, before the "T" came off of its sign (March 2016)
The President is a giant sequoia located in the Giant Forest of Sequoia National Park in the United States, east of Visalia, California. It is approximately 247 feet (75 m) high, and 27 feet (8.2 m) in diameter at the base. The President is the second-largest tree in the world, measured by volume of trunk, and the oldest-known living sequoia, about 3,240 years old. As of 2012, the volume of its trunk measured at about 54,000 cubic feet (1,500 m3), with an additional 9,000 cubic feet (250 m3) of branches.
The tree was named after President Warren G. Harding in 1923. Nearby trees include Chief Sequoyah, the 27th-largest giant sequoia in the world, and the Congress Group, two dense stands of medium-sized sequoias that represent the "House" and "Senate".
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General Sherman is a giant sequoia tree located at an elevation of 2,109 m (6,919 ft) above sea level in the Giant Forest of Sequoia National Park in Tulare County, in the U.S. state of California. By volume, it is the largest known living single-stem tree on Earth.
The General Sherman tree was named after the American Civil War general William Tecumseh Sherman. The official story, which may be apocryphal, claims the tree was named in 1879 by naturalist James Wolverton, who had served as a lieutenant in the 9th Indiana Cavalry under Sherman.
Seven years later, in 1886, the land came under the control of the Kaweah Colony, a utopian socialist community whose economy was based on logging. Noting the pivotal role that Sherman had played in the Indian Wars and his forced relocation of native American tribes, they renamed the tree in honor of Karl Marx. However, the community was disbanded in 1892, primarily as a result of the establishment of Sequoia National Park, and the tree reverted to its previous name.
In 1931, following comparisons with the nearby General Grant tree, General Sherman was identified as the largest tree in the world. One result of this process was that wood volume became widely accepted as the standard for establishing and comparing the size of different trees.
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