Monday, March 10, 2014

Monday Miscellany

A couple of odds, ends and personals to start the week.

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Email from Byter Doug in response to the David Thorne posts:

Hi Otto,

Absolutely brilliant. After reading your earlier post, I purchased David's book and this was one of the very best. It's a genuine pleasure to read it once again.



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Email from Byter Brett in response to the bubble wrap posts:

Years ago, I worked in a warehouse, and occasionally we would receive things wrapped in bubble wrap with large bubbles, about two inches across; we would lay it out on the floor and run over it with a fork lift.

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Email from Graham, he of the replaced hip:

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman 
He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility..... 
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.' 

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

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