Sunday, April 30, 2023
LOOKING BACK
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The website Bored Panda recently featured a selection of items from another site ‘Righteous Memes from Generation X’. That second site can be viewed by clicking on:
By way of comment and explanation:
Generation X, or Gen X, is a term describing the generation of people born between 1965 and 1980, although some sources use slightly different ranges.
The terms for generations are commonly:
|
Name |
When born |
|
Greatest Generation |
1901 – 1924 |
|
Silent
Generation |
1925 – 1945 |
|
Baby Boomers |
1946 – 1964 |
|
Generation X |
1965 – 1979 |
|
Milleniials |
1980 - 1994 |
|
Generation Z |
1995 – 2012 |
|
Generation
Alpha |
2013 – 2025 |
The above website depicts what Generation X remembers from their day, their comments, observations and responses.
The Bored Panda post can be viewed by clicking on:
The following selected items, pics, headings and reader comments are from the Bored Panda site.
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Reader comments:
Koko was incredible
I'll take the downvotes: Koko was arguably not more incredible than any other gorilla. Gorillas are smart, it's not surprising if she remembered Fred took his shoes off. But she didn't know sign language as the myth goes. For every right sign she'd get rewarded for she did 10 wrong ones, meaning she likely did random signs. Added to that the researches weren't even good at sign language themselves, making a lot of meaning out of nonsense. The truth is seldom as flattering as a good story so I get if people won't like to read this but that's sadly the case. It doesn't make Koko less amazing in my eyes, gorillas are incredibly endearing animals, sign language or not.
Apparently Koko was also a fan of Robin Williams. When told of his passing, Koko signed the word "sad". Also, I just read this on Koko's wikipedia page: "Koko was reported to have a preoccupation with both male and female human nipples, with several people saying that Koko requested to see their nipples."
Yeah lol I just saw that too
We’re not the only intelligent ones. And we’re not the only sentient ones. Lesson not learned.
Google the video of Koko with Robin Williams. It might make you cry. RIP, Robin, Mr. Rogers and Koko.
__________
My absolute favorite cartoon!!
Same here!
As I got older, I felt I understood Wylie Coyote more and disliked the Road Runner.
Tom....Sylvester....Wylie....Elmer....Adulthood makes us see them all in a new light.
That’s actually not a real road and trees behind that boulder. It’s an elaborate painting on the side of a mountain
"Meep, Meep!“
That dang Acme failed him again
__________
Hahahaha that is genius
Not so funny to those of us that lived through it. Well... Maybe a little funny.
I just tell them that we had much better weed back then.
Rosemary's Baby??
Village of the Damned
It's just a little harder to find this funny given that there are people who are still in prison after convictions with no physical evidence (just 'witness' testimony) from the Satanic Panic in the 80's. So yeah, it's funny except for the nonmetaphorical witch hunt that happened around the same time.
I remember the uprising. Well, some of it. Now that I've had a moment to think about it this never happened. (Whispers: I'm sorry master I forgot I'm never to mention it again.)
Them demons just figured out how to make their eyes human. Demon people everywhere.
__________
I actually miss that.... It felt so good.
You still can, but at several hundred dollars a pop, make sure it's worth it.
The best part is, they were made for it. You could smack that thing a hundred times a day, IT WAS A FRICKING TANK
Those bakelite phones had decent sized real bells in them. If you slammed it down you got a sort of ring/echo effect from the bells inside. I wasn't in the habit of slamming phones but those things could have been used by Mr. Plum in the study instead of the lead pipe.
And then leave it off the hook to really bake their beans!
Or unpluggjng it so you didn't have to hear the "busy" signal
Maybe that's why everyone is so on edge these days. Can't properly relieve the tension of an infuriating phone call.
That little ding when you slammed the headset down so hard you rattled the casing aaahhhhhh BLISS!
Those old dial phones were bullet proof
Basically indestructible. Watch films from the 60s and earlier and see just how often they serve as the blunt force trauma object of choice.
__________
Spare him his life from his monstrosity.
He did the fandango
Freddie Mercury left everything to his mother in his will. She lives modestly in next suburb to me despite getting royalty income that would make the 6 stars of Friends think "woah!"
Thanks, thanks a lot. I nearly choked on my food.
Can you do the fandango ??
Dropping science like Galileo dropped an orange.
Oh Momma-Mia, Momma-Mia...
__________
I was 5-6 yo, so everybody at the high school was at the end of their lives for me.
Stockard Channing is the best Rizzo though
The best thing about the whole film.
She was 33 when she made the movie.
Sonny (Michael Tucci) also pictured was 31. John Travolta (Danny) was 23. Olivia Newton John (Sandy) was 29!
Even as a kid this had me questioning things. I remember wondering if I was going to look like I was in my 30s when I graduated HS.
I was 9, I had no idea! I remember being very impressed by that movie, though. When I look at it now, it's so old fashioned! But it still has its charm, like it used to.
Well now that I'm middle aged they look like teens again. But for a solid 10 years they actually looked like average adults to me.
__________
I got to know the routine of shows usually watched each evening. If it’s Tuesday at 8pm it’s “Combat” on channel 4, after it’s over I promptly get up and change to channel 7 for “Maverick”. I didn’t need to be told. I just got up and did it. Auto tune. Who knew? A kid ahead of my time.
In the US, Tuesday was Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley. Saturday night was Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Sunday was All in the Family and (yuck boring) 60 Minutes. Hated that ticking clock.
Does anyone remember that if the knob broke, the pliers came out to turn the tv? 😂
I knew my dad considered my friends to be family if he asked them to change the channel.
Remote control AND antenna adjuster.
Ugh I was the youngest when we had the old tv with the dial, being the remote is not fun.
That's no lie either. Our old console tv sometimes didn't turn on and it was my job to get behind it and start wiggling the tubes. When I got shocked, I knew it was working.
That was me! My parents ate dinner in front of the TV while my older sister and I ate in the dining room. Every few minutes, my mother would call for me: "Come change the channel!", "Turn up the volume!" "Turn down the volume!" Come to think of it, they also called me to turn the heat up or down, bring the cheese, take the dirty plates... etc. I used to bet with my sister how many mouthfuls I could eat before they called me again. To be clear, the called me and not my sister because she was "the smart one" and I was "the helpful one".
Don't forget to reposition the rabbit ears.
Get me a beer and change the channel
__________
We Had These!!!
They came with every house.
Anyone remember Tupperware in pastel colors like avocado green?
Large serving bowl and salad bowls. Large wooden fork and spoon on the wall.
I have a couple trays out of that material.
We HAVE these. And replace them from a local restaurant supply store. They’re about two bucks each. They call them “chip bowls” where we get them.
I have these in my kitchen right now. I used one for cereal yesterday.
Around our house, it wasn't salad unless it was a mound of iceberg lettuce served in one of these with a bunch of Thousand Island dressing on top.
__________
Not to mention the t-shirt (or top whatever)
It was called a muscle shirt, now known as a crop top 😅. My son says we used to dress "zesty." 😂😂
And you just KNOW he lit the sparkler with the cigarette.
You don't want to see me in that shirt.
Who's been stealing from my family's photo album?
I had those shorts but in red.
__________
Aren't we still plugging in a whole bunch of wires into the back of our TVs?
Yup, now we just have to remember which device is plugged into which HDMI port.
Honey, I'm old enough to remember when we only had black and white TV and were happy to get NBC, ABC, CBS, and PBS.
A lot of electronics still come with those.
TRAGEDIES: HILLSBOROUGH 1989
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Tragedy:
an event causing great suffering, destruction, and distress, such as a serious accident, crime, or natural catastrophe.
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I was watching a commentary on 60’s music one of the songs mentioned was You’ll Never Walk Alone by Gerry and the Pacemakers. The commenttator stated that the song took on an added significance after the Hillsborough disaster. A little more of that later.
It started me thinking of that disaster, I remember when it happened, which in turn started me thinking of other tragedies . . . the Bradford City stadium fire, Aberfan, Jonestown, Tenerife . . .
It occurred to me that it would be worth having an occasional look back at some tragedies. Although still sad, they are now part of history.
Here is the first.
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Hillsborough disaster:
The following post contains photographs which are harrowing and may be distressing. I was contemplating leaving them out but, after thinking about it, felt that the full scale of the tragedy needed such images included.
Event:
Hillsborough stadium crush disaster
Country:
England
Date:
15 April, 1989
Deaths:
97
The Hillsborough disaster was a fatal human crush during a football match at Hillsborough Stadium in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England, on 15 April 1989.
An FA Cup semifinal match was scheduled between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest on April 15, 1989, at Hillsborough, a neutral venue. The sold-out game was expected to draw more than 53,000 fans. To prevent hooliganism, fans for the two teams were directed to enter from different sides of the stadium. Liverpool supporters with tickets for the standing terraces were to enter along Leppings Lane. There they were to pass though one of seven turnstiles, after which there were two tunnels that opened into “pens,” areas enclosed by high fences with a narrow gate. Central pens 3 and 4 were accessed from the main tunnel, while the side pens were entered through the less prominent corridor.
Due to the limited number of turnstiles, a bottleneck formed as approximately 10,100 fans attempted to enter the stadium on the Leppings Lane side. By about 2:30 PM, some 30 minutes before kickoff, more than half of those fans were still outside. Hoping to ease congestion, Yorkshire Police Chief Superintendent David Duckenfield, who had little experience policing soccer matches at Hillsborough, approved the opening of exit gate C at approximately 2:52 PM. Some 2,000 fans entered through that gate, and, although the side pens were relatively empty, the majority headed to the main tunnel and the already crowded pens 3 and 4. As fans rushed into those pens, a deadly crush resulted, with people frantically trying to escape. A number of law officials initially believed the problem to be unruly fans, and it was not until five minutes after kickoff that the match was halted. However, police never “fully activated the major incident procedure.” Poor communications and coordination further complicated rescue efforts, and in numerous cases fans provided assistance and medical attention.
With 97 deaths and 766 injuries, it has the highest death toll in British sporting history.
The match was abandoned and restaged at Old Trafford in Manchester on 7 May 1989; Liverpool won and went on to win that season's FA Cup.
In the following days and weeks, South Yorkshire Police (SYP) fed the press false stories suggesting that football hooliganism and drunkenness by Liverpool supporters had caused the disaster. Blaming Liverpool fans persisted even after the Taylor Report of 1990, which found that the main cause was a failure of crowd control by SYP. Following the Taylor Report, the Director of Public Prosecutions ruled there was no evidence to justify prosecution of any individuals or institutions. The disaster led to a number of safety improvements in the largest English football grounds, notably the elimination of fenced standing terraces in favour of all-seater stadiums in the top two tiers of English football.
In January 2023 the national body for police chief constables issued an official apology for the police failures that led to the unlawful killing of 97 people in the Hillsborough disaster, and for the “pain and suffering” experienced by the bereaved families for years afterwards.
Martin Hewitt, the chair of the National Police Chiefs’ Council (NPCC), made the apology at the launch of a report setting out senior police officers’ commitments to learn lessons from the Hillsborough failures. These include every force having signed a charter for bereaved families in 2021 that requires police organisations to acknowledge mistakes with “openness” and “candour” after a public tragedy, and not “seek to defend the indefensible”, as South Yorkshire police were accused of doing after the 1989 disaster.
Andy Marsh, the chief executive of the College of Policing, the standards-setting body for the police in England and Wales, said “Policing has profoundly failed those bereaved by the Hillsborough disaster over many years and we are sorry that the service got it so wrong. Police failures were the main cause of the tragedy and have continued to blight the lives of family members ever since. When leadership was most needed, the bereaved were often treated insensitively and the response lacked coordination and oversight.”
An image of the gate that was opened to allow fans in
The tunnel at the Leppings Lane end of Sheffield Wednesday’s Hillsborough ground.
Footage released by the Hillsborough inquest.
Fans in the Leppings Lane End crushed against the fencing
Supporters are crushed against the barrier.
Fans in the central section of the Leppings Lane End are crushed against the fences
Ninety-seven Liverpool fans died as a result of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster
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The song:
"You'll Never Walk Alone" is a show tune from the 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Carousel.
In 1963 the Liverpudlian Merseybeat group Gerry and the Pacemakers had a Number 1 hit with the song in the UK, as well as hitting No 1 in Australia, Ireland and New Zealand.
Hear it by clicking on:
Take the time to look at the images on the video.
After becoming a hit by the local band, the song gained popularity in Liverpool and the song quickly became the football anthem of Liverpool Football Club, which adopted "You'll Never Walk Alone" as its official motto on its coat of arms.
The song is sung by the team’s supporters moments before the start of each home game at Anfield with the Gerry and the Pacemakers version being played over the public address system.
In 2013, the 50th anniversary of the song, Simon Hart of The Independent wrote:
Five decades on, the pre-match, scarfs-raised, sing-it-loud ritual is as much a part of Liverpool's fabric as their red shirts, its words written in wrought iron on the gates of their stadium.
In his commentary on the memorial service following the Hillsborough disaster in 1989, Peter Jones recited the lyrics, which were then sung by a cathedral choir.
In 2019, during a Take That concert at Anfield, lead singer and Liverpool fan Gary Barlow brought out a guest vocalist, Gerry Marsden – who had come out of retirement for the performance – and they sang the club's anthem "You'll Never Walk Alone".
See and hear it by clicking on:
It was his last performance, his smile as big as ever. He died on January 3, 2021 aged 78, after being diagnosed with a blood infection in his heart.
The song is now also sung at association football clubs around the world, where it is performed by a massed chorus of supporters on match day, a tradition developed at Liverpool F.C.
In some areas of the UK and Europe, "You'll Never Walk Alone" became the anthem of support for medical staff, first responders, and those in quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The composition is sometimes treated by performers as a religious song, such as with the 1967 version by Elvis Presley, which was featured on several of his gospel albums.
In August 2021 Liverpool F C played its first home game of the season, at Anfield, being also the first since the start of the COVID pandemic in March 2020, a wait of 18 months. The previous month, in July 2021, the 97th victim of the Hillsborough disaster had passed away. Andrew Devine was 55 years of age and passed away 32 years after suffering life-changing injuries in the stadium crush on April 15, 1989. A coroner has ruled that Devine is the 97th victim of the disaster and that he was unlawfully killed.
Liverpool fans turned out enen masse to the game, a sellout, and produced an incredible rendition of ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone’ to pay tribute to the 97th Hillsborough victim ahead of the match.
See it and hear it by clicking on:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go-jJlGd1so
So moving.
Tribute at the above match.
Friday, April 28, 2023
FACTS
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Variously called "Scotland's Disgrace" or "Scotland's Pride and Poverty" or "Edinburgh's Shame" the National Monument on Calton Hill in Edinburgh was supposed to have been a memorial to the Scots who died in the Napoleonic Wars. The idea was to create a copy of the Parthenon in Athens (Edinburgh is sometimes called the "Athens of the North").
Sir Walter Scott, Sir Henry Cockburn and others launched a subscription to pay the estimated cost of 42,000 pounds. The foundation stone was laid on 27 October 1822 but three years later work stopped as less than half the cost had been subscribed. The twelve Doric columns on their base still remain.
Attempts to complete the National Monument have never borne fruit for reasons of either cost or lack of local enthusiasm. A proposal in 2004 met with a mixed reception. The monument was repaired in December 2008, repositioning one of the stone lintels that had moved out of alignment. The cost was £100,262.
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Somewhat more successful than the National Monument was the Nelson Monument which was dedicated in 1807, two years after the Battle of Trafalgar. The 108 foot tower was designed by Robert Burn to resemble an inverted telescope and houses a museum to Nelson.
In 1852, a large time ball was introduced, which is lowered as the one o’clock gun is fired from Edinburgh castle each day. It was released at exactly 1.0pm so that the ships in Leith harbour could reset their chronometers. There was an electrical cable connection with the "One O'clock Gun" fired on the battlements of Edinburgh Castle, 4,000 feet away.
Time ball on the Nelson Monument
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The TCL Chinese Theatre (formerly Mann’s, originally Grauman’s), has handprints and footprints of Hollywood stars imprinted in the concrete.
The very first one, however, was an accident. The tradition was born after actress Norma Talmadge accompanied Sid Grauman — the theater magnate who was opening the now-famous landmark — and other Hollywood stars to the site of the heater when it was under construction in 1927. Upon arrival, when Talmadge stepped out of the car, she accidentally placed her foot directly on wet cement, leaving an imprint behind. Rather than being annoyed, Grauman decided that it would be a wonderful idea of invite the most popular Hollywood stars to leave their hand and footprints on cement, thus immortalising them for all time. In honor of Talmadge and the inspiration her little accident gave him, Grauman asked her to be first personality to place her hands and feet in the cement at the Chinese Theatre's first footprint ceremony on May 18, 1927. She signed the cement block with the following: "Sid dear — my wish is for your success — Norma Talmadge.".
Norma Talmadge (1894-1957)
Talmadge and Grauman at the first footprint ceremony
Talmadge's prints at Grauman's Chinese Theater
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A 2021 large-scale animal study revealed a correlation between how long an animal yawns and the size of its brain.
Researchers collected data on 1,291 separate yawns from zoo trips and online videos, covering a total of 55 mammal species and 46 bird species. They found that vertebrates with larger brains and more neurons tend to have longer-lasting yawns.
The analysis was set up to test a hypothesis put forward in 2007 by one of the researchers that worked on this study: that yawning is an essential way of cooling down the brain. It, therefore, follows that bigger brains need longer yawns to properly cool them.
I believe it. I generally yawn for up to 2 minutes each yawn. My friend Steve M, on the other hand, has yawns that would be lucky to last 2 seconds each.
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When cellophane was invented in 1908, it was originally intended to be used to protect tablecloths from wine spills. It was invented by Swiss chemist Jacques E. Brandenberger who, in 1900, was inspired by seeing wine spill on a restaurant's tablecloth and who decided to create a cloth that could repel liquids rather than absorb them. It took ten years for Brandenberger to perfect his film. By 1912 he had constructed a machine to manufacture the film, which he had named Cellophane, from the words cellulose and diaphane ("transparent"). Whitman's candy company initiated use of cellophane for candy wrapping in the United States in 1912 for their Whitman's Sampler.
Some ads just make you shudder and look on in horror
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Snow has been recorded several times in the Sahara Desert over the last decades, most recently in January 2022. Snowfall may be unusual but is not unprecedented in the region.
In order for snow to form, two distinctive weather properties are needed: cold temperatures and moist air. The presence of snow reflects a special combination of air circulation in the atmosphere and the nature of the land surface upon which the snow falls.
Although the Sahara commonly experiences very high temperatures (more than 50°C), low temperatures are also recorded (in particular at night) because of the bare land surface and the cloudless skies. A maximum cold of -14°C was recorded in Algeria in January 2005 during the northern hemisphere winter.
Sahara desert: Rare snowfall leaves extraordinary pattern on sand dunes
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General Sherman is a giant sequoia tree located at an elevation of 2,109 m (6,919 ft) above sea level in the Giant Forest of Sequoia National Park in Tulare County, in the U.S. state of California. By volume, it is the largest known living single-stem tree on Earth. It is estimated to be around 2,200 to 2,700 years old.
General Sherman tree
Firefighters and park personnel wrap General Sherman in fire shelter material to help protect it from the KNP Complex Fire
While General Sherman is the largest currently living tree, it is not the largest historically recorded tree. The Lindsey Creek tree, with more than 90,000 cubic feet (2,500 cubic meters) almost twice the volume of General Sherman, was reported felled by a storm in 1905. Another larger tree, the Crannell Creek Giant, a coast redwood (Sequoia sempervirens) cut down in the mid-1940s near Trinidad, California, is estimated to have been 15–25% larger than the General Sherman Tree by volume.
The General Sherman Tree was named after the American Civil War general William Tecumseh Sherman. The official story, which may be apocryphal, claims the tree was named in 1879 by naturalist James Wolverton, who had served as a lieutenant in the 9th Indiana Cavalry under Sherman.
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Thursday, April 27, 2023
LAUGH
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A mixed collection of humour today, Byters, in the second edition of Laugh.
Enjoy.
__________
A rich man, after 50 years of marriage, looked at his wife and said:
“50 years ago, we had a small house and an old car. We slept on the couch and watched a small black-and-white TV, but every night I went to bed with a beautiful 19-year-old girl. Now I have a huge expensive house, many expensive cars, a huge bed in a luxurious bedroom, and a wide-screen color TV, but I share a bed with a 69-year-old woman. I'm starting to doubt my marriage.”
His wife replied:
“You can find yourself a 19-year-old girl, and I will make sure that you live again in a small house, sleep on a sagging sofa, and watch black-and-white TV.”
__________
I’m ok with trans women competing in women’s sports.
As long as I’m allowed to bet.
__________
I bought this canary bird some time ago and it kept pecking at my blinds, which was costing me hundreds to continually replace.
I went to the vet and asked for advice.
The vet told me to file off the bird’s beak ever so slightly, but that if I file it off too far it will not be able to pick up its food and it will die.
A couple weeks passed and I saw my vet on the street. He asked me how it worked with my bird.
"The bird died," I replied.
He shook his head and said "You filed the beak off too far, didn't you?"
"No," I replied. "It was dead when I took it out of the vice"
__________
And whilst on that topic:
Dennis, a carpet fitter, had just finished laying a carpet for Mrs Smith. He popped outside out for a smoke, only to realise that he had mislaid his cigarettes. He retraced his steps and saw in the middle of the room, under the carpet, what appeared to be a small lump.
'No sense in taking up the entire carpet for one pack of cigs,' Dennis muttered to himself. So he took get out his hammer and flattened the hump with a couple of sharp blows.
Dennis began tidying up when Mrs Smith came into the room and handed him his cigarettes. 'I found them in the hallway.' she said, 'Now,' she continued, looking around the room imploringly, 'if only I could my canary.'
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Danny is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit.
There's a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table, so Danny and his friends start snacking on them.
When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts."
Grandma says "You're welcome. Eat all you want. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off 'em."
__________
(This one is for Thomas and Jess, they will know why).
The National Roads and Motoring Association (NRMA) found over 2000 dead crows on the Sturt Highway recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with motorbikes, while only 2% were killed by cars. The NRMA then hired an ornithological behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of motorbike kills versus car kills. The ornithological behaviourist quickly concluded that when crows eat road kill, they always have a lookout crow to warn of danger. They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Bike"
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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:
There was a young girl from Bryn Mawr
Who committed a dreadful faux pas;
She loosened a stay
On her decollete,
Thus exposing her je ne sais quoi.
Bryn Mawr is a community on the outskirts of Philadelphia. The name is pronounced Brin Mar.
Je ne sais quoi is a French phrase that translates to 'I don't know what' and means a pleasing quality that cannot be exactly named or described.
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RELIGION SPOT:
Why is it ironic that Jesus was a carpenter?
Because his name are the two words that you say right after you hit your thumb with a hammer.
__________
Jesus, Chuck Norris and the Pope are sitting in a boat in the middle of a lake. They decide to get to the shore, so Jesus leaves the boat first and walks over the water to the shore.
Chuck Norris leaves second and also walks over the water to the shore.
The Pope, being baffled, also tries to take a step out of the boat but immediately falls in, so he has to swim to the shore.
Back on land the Pope asks Jesus and Chuck Norris how they were both able to walk on the water.
Jesus replies with "Oh, I should have told you about the rocks which are close to the surface of the water."
Chuck Norris then asks "What rocks?"
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LAW AND LAWYERS:
A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.
The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.
After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done and paid him the $10,000.
The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and, wanted to let him go.
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CORN CORNER:
__________
What makes a pirate angry?
When someone steals their p.
__________
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
__________
Mountains aren’t funny.
They’re hill areas.
__________
A friend had a new baby girl.
His coworker asked: "What's her name?"
My friend replied: "Melanie Noelle."
His coworker: "How do you spell it, then?"
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