Bytes: 1/1/23

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Rate My Plate is an online community of members that like to share, via photographs and comments. whatever is on their dinner plate. The group has over 500,000 members.

Below are selected recent pics, headings and comments from the Facebook page at:
https://www.facebook.com/RateMyPlateNow/

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Full English by Kaz

Very tidy😉Personally I'm a fried egg, bread and butter not toast and less well done bacon kinda gal but I wouldn't turn my nose up, especially like the tinned tomato option.

yep, fried bread & bread n butter every time

This is a 10/10 breakfast

Halve the mushrooms, double the bacon, but beyond this difficult to fault.

Assuming we ignore the glaring elephant in the room - hash browns 🙁

Seems the sosigs was an after thought

I’m don’t know how’ you’d eat all that food but looks banging! I’d want a 5 hour nap

Bacon too crispy for me, beans touching tomatoes, omelette instead of a fried or poached egg, sausages that look distinctly like Linda McCartney's, and frozen hash browns... overall, not my preferred options but I'd still smash it 😂

The only thing wrong with it and that is a me thing is the eggs preferred fried, but a perfick 10 out of 10 looks great

Too much food for me. Would prefer runny eggs for more flavour and not tinned tomatoes.

The maggots in the beans are a personal favourite of mine.

did someone trim their nails just before?!

Lindsey Baldwin just noticed that, what are those nail type things?

Looks good apart from the mushrooms did you do them with an acetylene torch

Looks awesome. Change the scrambled for fried eggs and drop the black pudding and I'd smash that 👍
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Hangover Cure by Jonathan

I’d rather be vomiting through the hangover than eating brown sauce 🤮

Brown Sauce Hits The Spot Followed By "Hair Of The Dog" 🍻

Love your glass tea cup. You know you had a good night and are hungover hem you wake up in the 70’s.

This hurts me to say this but I could actually eat that 😂😢

Fries and cola!! Water, sugar, caffeine, and grease. Best hangover cure.

I love brown sauce on bacon and sausages, tomato on fish and chips

Best thing I can say about this is… Nice photography skills

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Full English by Matt

Should have taken the photo before you blew your nose in the beans Matt.

Looks good, and best of all no bloody hash browns. 👌

I’m against the pretentious use of ramekin for beans. Everyone knows you should use the sausages as breakwaters against the bean juice.

Use crispy bacon for the anti bean juice Wall. Nothing worse than bean juice in your fried egg.

That egg looks great, I love a crispy egg skirt 😋

That looks really good, lose the egg, add more bacon and sausage. Perfect!!

It did look amazing - until somebody mowed the grass and it blew all over it

What is it with beans in nearly every meal?? The methane level over there must be astronomical!

Get your facts right! We don't eat them with nearly every meal. I have them once or twice a month! I have a fry up maybe once a month, maybe less! 🙄🤣

Well done Matt! That looks really nice and I'd have that. Ignore all negative remarks, probably made by millennials who still have mummy preparing their meals.👍👍

On first glance, these beans look older than my great great grandparents

Oh dear what in the name of "anything" is that horrendous mess.. great for this page and well done for sweeping it up off the floor

I wondered why the beans were centre stage... then I saw the supporting cast.

Point of order Matt: just because you’ve got an air fryer, doesn’t mean you have to use it to cook everything.

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Spam & Spaggy Oops by Jasmine

That’s not cooking. This isn’t food.

You’re absolutely right. This is a gastric travesty. I mean no hotdogs in the O's?

Not enough o's in that bowl to spell noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I wouldn't eat this unless I was starving 😄

....if depression were a meal this would be it!

Bowl of pure sadness

I have never felt less like eating in my entire life

This is the best I’ve ever seen on rate my plate, a well presented healthy lunch 👍 well done

Pure heaven on a plate - my staple before school. Add a fried egg and you're there! (someone once told my mother everyone should go to school on a fried breakfast - I am honestly surprised I am still here. I've been on a diet ever since I left home!)

Masterchef are missing a trick with you Jasmine. You could go far with a super nutritious meal like that! Can't wait to see what you throw up next.

The best thing about that food is the table.

Once after smoking weed the best thing i ever ate was a slice of bread with mayonaise and slices of gurkin so my question is, what did you smoke ?

I feel like throwing up looking at it!!

I think the whole dish should be called 'oops'

That plate needs an exorcism

Thank you Jasmine, I have now learned not to open Facebook right before a meal as I’ve now gone and lost any appetite I had left

Stick with the cooking Jasmine and when you get older your dishes will get much better….you’ve done really well for someone who is only 4 years old

Jasmine your well & truly a keeper, I wouldn’t like to get on wrong side of you, these all your exes tongues?

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Homemade Feesh n Cheeps by Me

Personally, I lIke the fish to chips ratio 👍

That ain’t no fish! You’ve battered Lobster boys hands!!

Battered an ak47 more like

That looks tasty but personally I’d swap out a piece of fish for extra chips. 👍

Very nice, especially with the mushy peas 🤪

One day I’m going to try fish & chips with mushy peas. God willing.

Well cooked You like your fish I see 😁😁😁

I find your lack of chips disturbing

A little bit more fish would be nice

Well if that's homemade...... I would say I'd run down the high street with my knickers on my head, but the world ain't ready for that either!!!!

Fess up, what's your favourite chippy called???

Never been home made in it's life frozen chips an that’s have a little fishy when the boat comes in

You're meant to cook the peas, not just defrost them - put 'em in a pan and "give peas a chance!"

A superb example of some just put in the oven skills.

I see there is no shortage of peas where you are ….

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Medium Steak with Chips by Lillian

Medium. That steak still comes when you call it by it’s name. I’m positive it’s only playing dead.

At least there's dressing on the wound 😄

Medium. a decent vet could bring it back to life lillian.

I know it's probably just pareidolia but the unhappy faces in the sauce speaks volumes...

I’m more intrigued by the PICKLE SALAD. I’ve never seen this before 😂

That’s never seen medium. It could walk back to the field with its crispy overcoat

When the hubby said he wanted a candle-lit dinner, he didn’t mean he wanted you to cook the steak with candle, Lillian

A decent vet should have it back on it's feet I no time. Chips are medium rare though.

Medium? Its been walked through a warm room

Medium in size maybe, not in the way it is cooked.

Medium?..... That could still win Best in Show at an agricultural fair!!

Medium!? You're having a laugh! Might as well still have a pulse!! 😱

This entire plate of food would have been more cooked under a heavy fart

Thought it was a Turkish delight

Turkish delight has pride , please do not insult it by comparing to that thing on the plate

Either cook it or release it back into the wild FFS

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Monday, January 30, 2023

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

REVISIT: UGLY BELGIAN HOUSES

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This week I may revisit some sites that I have posted about before, checking in and looking at updates . . .

First batter up: Ugly Belgian Houses

Belgian architect Hannes Coudenys makes it his mission to document ugly Belgian houses, see https://www.facebook.com/uglybelgianhouses/

Why are there so many Ugly Belgian houses? I’m still not clear, although Coudenys said in an interview: “The Dutch have been ruling us, France has been ruling us, we have always had to be brave little Belgians. We were finally being set free and subsidized to do what we want. After school, you find a girl, you get married, and you build your own house, and it’s not OK for it to look like the neighbors’ houses.”

Some pics and reader comments, headings by Coudenys . . . .

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Accident waits to happen

The house suddenly jumped onto the tracks!

Never too late for the train. And the train is in time too.

That's Magritte's house. The train enters through the fireplace.

I think it's cute! I just wish the attachment did not look like a box ?🙄🤔

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Buy a house get half extra!

Google street view only goes back to 2009, but based on that, we can predict the facade of these houses will likely shift another 1.5 meters to the left in the next 10 to 15 years time.

It's only a matter of time before the house on the right dominates the other two dwellings out of existence before it will itself metamorphosise into an apartment block.

Such is the life of buildings on the Belgian plains.

I can't tell what is separating those two roofs but it looks like a huge bead of caulk lol

There’s so much happening in this pic, it looks like it was composed by an AI

Half extra on one side, yes .. But what about the half on the other side?

The neighbour even has a 1/2 garage !

Looks like the house in the middle lost her front door to the house on the right and consequently confiscated the frontdoor of the house on the left.

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You ain’t nothing but an ugly house dog

When you want a dog but don't want to feed it..

I love that dog! ♥️🐶♥️

I like that they have trees and bushes. So many of the houses I see have nothing but concrete.

Who let the dog out?

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50 shits of grey

This really hurts my eyes

Must be a BAT relation. (Building apart together). 😉

I love it when you can tell that the neighbors love each other... 😘

I got it one piece at a time and it didn't cost me a dime🎶

This is what you get when the planning officer loses a bet with the architect.

There ARE rules as to what you can and cannot build in Belgium. Seriously there ARE!..........

...I know ..hard to believe is it ?

They really look good friends though.

Love my neighbour

It’s an ugly beigeian house.

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Citroen Citrout

This is actually rather amazing!

Almost a Rene Magritte painting. Surrealism is a way of life in Belgium.

I wanted to not like it, but I failed.... I want to live in Belgium. ❤

I like it except that it’s not centered on the wall, and the roofline is asymmetrical

That’s not ugly

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Amenagement a trois (avec un ami)

(No, I have no idea what it means)

Nice try! But 2 symmetric wrongs don’t make one right! 😜

And the car comes with it...

Which is uglier the house or the car in front?

Someone left their trolley outside...

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I see a red roof and I want to paint it black (too)

Honey, I shrunk the house.

Is this a garage that was promoted to a house?

Beautiful

At least the mailman knows where to be

DON'T LOOK AT ME I'M SHY !

Are they serious? 🤔🙄😒 That's not possible 🧐🤧😬

Looks like the roof collapsed. 🧨

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We got to fight the towers that be

This picture makes me so angry, for no reason I can tangibly find...

In Belgium this is how we hide our nuclear missiles

I don't mind the towers, it's just that they're stuck on to an extremely plain box. Nothing else on the house corresponds with them.

Frankly with 4 or 5 trees and various bushes hiding the house a bit and adding mystery to it it would be nice.

Faulty Towers.

'Hold your horses' 🙈

But where is the drawbridge and moat?

I really like how they also put a little horse carriage in the garden ... 🫣🤣

Footage of how the briefing with the architect went would have been great reality TV!

Aren't they meant to be at the corners rather than the middle

I always wonder what they do with that unpractical space inside the tower.. 🤔

To be fair I’d like it

Sauron and Saruman don't need a palantir to talk to each other anymore.

What would be in the towers? Men and woman toilet ? 😂

Architect forgot the toilet, so they had to improvise.

I hate it that the sides are assimetrical. Otherwise I love the towers 😍

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When you download the house plans from The Pirate Bay 🏴‍☠️

Looks like general Grievous!

This is a mech-house. It can stand up because there are legs folded in the basement, lasers & stuff.

Why so angry?

Beautiful fridge in the middle...😊

Cheap scifi movie set

I could live happily there!

Architectural freedom .

The style? Well, how about “Angry Brutalism”?

This house looks angry at its own existence

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We all live in an orange submarine

I often walked by and I always thought when they were building it that it would become a kind of mill. But no, it is just a house with a great view over the fields at the backside .

Can somebody just explain what this is. Why is it build like this? The bricks are made in different shapes.

It looks like coincidence, not planned to be built like this.

Rather short of windows, but not ugly. If you like bricks, this is fine.

This looks like a windmill that hasn't been well lately

A triumph of the bricklayer’s art

I prefer a yellow submarine........

Has it got velour interior walls? Maybe mustard yellow?? or a fully retro layout??

And a barn filled with nukes 😳

I like this house, from the outside

Wait, what, isn’t this Santa Fe, New Mexico

Livin' in a chimneeeeeey.

More like rusty oil drum at a dump.

(and love the seamless extension 🤔👍)

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Big Door Energy

I cannot stand that building 😅

When was this entrance "erected" ? Just asking ...

Looks like the door is having a good time

My door's bigger than your door...

Its the new fashion " Cactus 🌵 style doorways" only p____s can pass 😄😄😄😄

I like it

Love it ❤️

Big Finger Up to all aesthetics.

Is that your front door, or are you just pleased to see me

Not ugly at all

The house that Dick built

ooooh! Art Deco Modern ❤ that ugly black cornice on the right really ruins the design integrity though 😕

Was an organ required in there?

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We need a WTF-button here on Facebook. 😜

This looks like some of my sad attempts to decorate a cake.

Gingerbread house with melted glaze roof?

Polyurethane (PUR) architecture

Please leave the Smurfs alone

The idea is pretty nice, the finishing touch eeh.. 🥲😆

Well no! Big fat no! 😂😂

Love this one

I think this is so cute

Gaudi on fentanyl.

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Sunday, January 29, 2023

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

BYTES & PIECES

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Two items, based on comments in the news . . .

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Readers, at least local ones, will have seen quite a lot of coverage of a scandal involving the former Australian cricket team captain Michael Clarke, who was videoed shirtless in a park in Noosa engaged in a very loud fight with his girlfriend Jade Yarborough. TV presenter Karl Stefanovic and his wife Jasmine Yarborough, Jade’s sister, were also present. A video by a member of the public showed yarborough accusing Clarke of cheating on her with ex-girlfriend and fashion designer Pip Edwards, slapping him twice and walking away.

What is of interest to us at Bytes is the short but sweet response made by Pip Edwards in commenting on the sorry and sordid affair: “This is not my circus.”

I don’t know if Edwards has a Polish background or whether she was using part of a Polish saying but it is a shame she didn’t use the Polish expression in full and in its original format, the meaning being “Don’t drag me into your drama and your issues—I’m not getting involved.” –

Had she so wished, she could have used an alternative, equally apt Russian expression:

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A friend mentioned having watched a two part tele-movie on the Rebekah Vardy and Colleen Rooney trial, dubbed the Wagatha Christie trial (a reference to ‘wives and girlfriends’). Mrs Rooney, the wife of former England footballer Wayne Rooney, conducted a sting operation in 2019, accusing Mrs Vardy, who is married to Leicester striker Jamie Vardy, online of leaking private stories about her to The Sun.

Mrs Vardy denied she passed information to the newspaper and sued Rooney for defamation, but the Court found that Rooney's accusation was "substantially true".

There were some amusing moments which emerged during the case . . .

Due to "a series of unfortunate events", as Mrs Rooney's barrister David Sherborne sarcastically put it, WhatsApp messages between Mrs Vardy's agent Caroline Watt and journalists, which could have helped Mrs Rooney's case, were not available. Ms Watt accidentally dropped her phone in the North Sea while on a boat trip in Scotland, the court heard.

Mr Sherborne noted it was "a shame" that the phone was "lying at the bottom of the sea in Davy Jones' locker", prompting Mrs Vardy, sitting in the witness box, to ask: "Who is Davy Jones?"

The judge, Mrs Justice Steyn, explained: "It just means the bottom of the sea."

(Perhaps the barrister learned the nautical phrase from one of his previous libel claimant clients, Johnny Depp - aka Captain Jack Sparrow.)

Mr Sherborne himself didn't know who SAS TV personality Ant Middleton was when his name cropped up elsewhere in proceedings, while the judge and Mrs Vardy's barrister Hugh Tomlinson appeared to struggle to grasp how Instagram works.

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So how did the phrase Davy Jones’ Locker originate?

Davy Jones's locker is a metaphor for the final resting place of drowned sailors and travellers, the place in which sailors' and ships' remains are consigned to the depths of the ocean, sent to Davy Jones' Locker.

The origins of the name of Davy Jones and his Locker are unclear, several explanations being offered:

Linguists consider it most plausible that Davy was inspired by Saint David of Wales, whose name was often invoked by Welsh sailors, and Jones by the Biblical Jonah, Jones being a corruption of Jonah.

David Jones, a real pirate, although not a very well-known one, living on the Indian Ocean in the 1630s.

A British pub owner who supposedly threw drunken sailors into his ale locker and then gave them to be drafted on any ship.

The earliest known reference of the negative connotation of Davy Jones occurs in the Four Years Voyages of Capt. George Roberts, by author Daniel Defoe, published in 1726 in London.

Some of Loe's Company said, They would look out some things, and give me along with me when I was going away; but Ruffel told them, they should not, for he would toss them all into Davy Jones's Locker if they did.

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Saturday, January 28, 2023

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

SYDNEY SUBURBS, CONTINUED

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DANGAR ISLAND

Location:

Dangar Island is a forested island, 30.8 hectares (76 acres) in area in the Hawkesbury River, just north of Sydney, New South Wale and is a suburb of Hornsby Shire.

Name origin:

Dangar Island has been known to the local Guringai Aborigines for thousands of years. The first European to visit the area was Governor Arthur Phillip, who explored the lower river by small boat in March 1788 within weeks of the First Fleet's arrival. He named it Mullet Island, for the abundance of fish in the local Hawksbury River. At first the local people were friendly towards him, but when he returned a year later, they would not come into contact. By 1790, over half the Guringai people had succumbed to the smallpox the British had brought with them.

The island was purchased in 1864 and renamed by Henry Cary Dangar, the son of Henry Dangar, a surveyor, pastoralist and parliamentarian.

About:

Henry Dangar leased the island to the Union Bridge Company of Chicago for the construction of the original Hawkesbury River Rail Bridge between 1886 and 1889. About 300 workers and their families lived there and the island boasted a large social hall, school, library and its own newspaper.

In the 1920s the island, which is barely a five-minute walk across, was divided into residential plots, though space was reserved on the beach, the flat and the top of the hill for recreational use.

In the 2021 Census, there were 313 people in Dangar Island, which swells dramatically during holiday seasons.

Some features. attractions and comments:

Dangar Island is the only residential island on the Hawkesbury River. The village is an isolated community by its very nature.

This suburb is the only one in Sydney with no cars. Private cars are not allowed, hence children can play safely on the roads, the air is fresh and the surroundings are serene.

The locals are friendly.

There is an idyllic setting of the cafe facing the Hawkesbury River, with welcoming jacarandas and palm trees lining the shore.

Residents carry their possessions in wheelbarrows instead of vehicles. The wheelbarrows lie beside the ferry wharf, ready for use. School children ride their bikes to the wharf to catch the ferry to go to school. There are wheelbarrows and bicycles parked at the wharf instead of cars.

The Riverboat Postman delivers the mail here, the last in Australia, and to the other isolated communities on the Hawkesbury River as well.

Gallery:

Henry Cary Dangar

Peats Ferry wharf and steamers, decorated for the opening of the Hawkesbury Railway Bridge 1 May 1889

Floating span into position c1888

(Souvenir of the opening of the Hawkesbury Bridge, May 1st, 1899 )

Residence of E.K. Morse, Dangar Island, Hawkesbury River, N.S.W. Australia 1887-1889

Friday, January 27, 2023

QUOTE FOR THE DAY

Thursday, January 26, 2023

FUNNY FRIDAY

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A selection of humour from around the world . . .

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SOME HUMOUR:

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Scotland:

A new doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital

As they enter one ward, the nearest patient turns to him and says "Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden race!"

Before the doctor can react, the patient in the next bed adds "Wee sleekit cowerin' timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"

And not to be outdone, the third patient responds "Some ha' meat and cannae eat, and some wad eat that want it!"

WThe doctor murmurs to the orderly "So this is the Mental Health Ward?"

"Och no!" replies the orderly.

"...it's the Burns Unit!"

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USA:

What do you call a bee that lives in America?

A USB.

The other day I was arrested for pretending I was an American politician!

All I was doing was just sitting there doing nothing.

Why do Native Americans hate April?

Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.

Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart.

“Two dogs, please,” she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.

Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.” One of them opens the foil and begins to blush.

Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get?”

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Germany:

A drunk German is urinating on a bush.

An American walks by, sees what the German is doing and says, “Gross!”

The German says, “Danke!”

(Comment: “Gross” in German means big)

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Poland:

A Polish man goes to the eye doctor. The bottom line of the eye chart has the letters:

C Z Y N S T A S Z

The Optometrist asks "Can you read this?”

"Read it?”, the Pole replies,”I know the guy!”

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Ireland:

A young Swedish woman, an old Dutch woman, an Englishman, and an Irishman are riding on a train.

The train goes through a tunnel, it becomes pitch black in the car, and then a loud SMACK is heard.

The train emerges from the tunnel and the Englishman is rubbing his cheek.

The old Dutch woman thinks: "He must have groped the young Swedish woman, and she slapped him."

The young Swedish woman thinks: "He must have tried to grope me, and accidentally got the old woman, and she slapped him."

The Englishman thinks: "The Irishman must have groped the Swedish girl, and she accidentally slapped me."

The Irishman thinks: "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can smack that English guy again."

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England:

An English man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins. The juggler notices they’re having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, “Can you see me now?”

They answer one at a time: “Yes.” “Oui.” “Sí.” “Ja.”

(Comment: The joke is that they all say yes, but the difference in pronunciation and language produce a sentence sounding like "yes, we see you".)

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Mexico:

What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer?

Arriba McEntire.

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Australia:

I just watched an Aussie cooking show and the audience cheered when the chef made meringue.

I was surprised... Usually Aussies boo meringue.

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New Zealand:

An Aussie bloke is having a quiet drink in a bar and leans over to the big guy next to him and says, 'Do you wanna hear a Kiwi joke? The big guy replies, 'Well mate, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 1.90m tall, 125 kg and I played as a forward for the All Blacks." "The guy next to me is 1.85m, weighs 115 kg and he's an ex-All Black lock." "Next to him is a bloke who's 2m tall, weighs 120 kg and he's a current All Black second rower.

Now do you still want to tell that Kiwi joke?"

The Aussie bloke says, "Nah, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."

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An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and an African walk into a restaurant.

“I’m sorry,” said the maître d’, “but you can’t come in here without a Thai.”

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