Tuesday, June 6, 2017

More limericks

Time for some more limericks . . .

A discerning person from Swaffham
Would seek out real ales, and then quaff ‘em;
The problem that played
On the mind of the trade
Lay in getting the cost of them off him.

An oldie, and one of the better ones, of Edward Lear:

There was an old maid of Genoa.
I blush when I think what Iowa.
She’s gone to her rest,
And it’s all for the best,
Otherwise I would borrow Samoa.

Said a logical linguist named Rolles, 
'As we always call Polish folk "Poles", 
For better precision
(I am a logician)
We ought to call Dutch people “Holes”.’

There was an old justice, named Percival, 
Who said, 'I suppose you'll get worse if I'll 
Send you to gaol, 
So I'll put you on bail.' 
Now wasn't Judge Percival merciful.

A thrifty young fellow of Shoreham
Made brown paper trousers and woreham.
He looked nice and neat
Till he bent in the street
To pick up a coin; then he toreham.

A foreigner said, 'I have heard 
Your language is really absurd. 
The spelling is weird, 
Much worse than I feared,
For word rhymes with bird, nerd or turd.'

A Scots sailor, name of McPhee, 
Who spoonerised to a degree, 
Once shouted, 'A wanker!'
Instead of ‘Weigh anchor!' 
And spoke of himself as ‘PhcMee’.

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