Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos

There is a website called Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos and it’s about . . . well, I guess the name will tell you. It’s a collection of photographs that have been posted by real estate agents in marketing properties they are trying to sell. Some of them will make you laugh, some will cause you to scratch your head and others will just horrify you. Here are some of the images and their captions from that site, more in the future. 

For those wishing to visit the site, here is the link: 

If M C Escher had tried interior design. 

The perfect beachside property in which to relive the Allied Normandy Landings of 1944. 

The isolationist equivalent of a welcome mat. 

Bob would smile to himself whenever he thought of the money he’d saved by not installing air-con. 

The actual toilet in which Friedrich Nietzsche realised God is dead. 

As he listened to them driving away, George realised it wasn’t a real game of hide and seek. 

The sun will set, and the demons of the night will rise. Until then, the vaccuum cleaner sleeps a dreamless sleep. 

With the seat down it doubles as a bedside table. 

We don’t know what he does in there. He says he’ll tell us once he’s caught something. 

Property comes complete with a frisky middle-aged woman and half a bottle of Chardonnay. 

The plastic sheeting is for the vomit caused by the migraine caused by everything else. 

“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed into a black gym ball” 

How thoughtful of the seller to leave us a self-portrait of her breast-feeding her dog. 

When it came to selling their house, Slipknot’s decision to manage their own viewings was ill-advised and unsuccessful. 
(Thanks to everyone who submitted this property in Magill South Australia, expected to fetch around $250,000 plus your soul.) 

The owners are advising that this property has been exposed to dangerous levels of Teenage Boy. 

The music drowns out the washing machine drowns out the toilet helps you forget about the mirrors. 

Like a circle in a spiral, 
Like a wheel within a wheel. 
Like a toilet in a shower, 
In a kitchen, with hanging space for clothes, and a portable radiator. 

We read somewhere that sitting too close to the TV is bad for you. 

So we have this fireplace to store our firewood for the fire we don’t have. 

“Anyone thinking of trying Rachmaninov’s 2nd, forget it. I’m not in the mood” 

4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and extensive opportunities for open plan off-roading. 

Don’t lowball the agent. The previous couple tried, and it ended badly. 

I love excercise. I could lay in bed and watch it all day. 

At least they haven’t left the seat up. 

The Lord has sent us a sign, in the form of 2 hideous rugs and a huge crystal bowling pin.

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