Tuesday, February 23, 2021

READERS WEEK: Readers Write . . .


An email from Tom B in response to the Quote of the Day by Satchel Paige: “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” –

Good evening Otto,

There is a film produced by and starring Clint Eastwood called “The Mule”. There is a song in the movie written by Toby Keith with a line that says, “Ask yourself how old you would be if you didn’t know the day you were born.” Pretty cool movie and song.

Stay safe,

Tim B

Thanks Tim.

I saw that film and enjoyed it.

Some quotes on the topic . . .


A few weeks ago during the themed “Johnson Week”, one of the posts looked at the origin of “Johnson” as a term for the male organ.

Byter Steve M sent me an email:

G’day Otto,

Ref Bytes 8th February.

I am not sure about the swear words and references to anatomies, but I have a friend who we call The Count (his real name is Stephen P##) and this is how his nickname came about.

Stephen used to be a director of one of Australia’s largest suppliers of a particular product I sold in my business. He left them to work for a major competitor, which put him in ‘the bad books’.

I arrived at the conference with Stephen a few months later and we eventually split up and started chatting to various groups of people we knew. Stephen’s original employers (my suppliers) called me over and said some very derogatory things about him... calling him by the C word.

Later that morning, I found Stephen again and said, ‘I didn’t know that you had Royal blood.’

‘I don’t,’ he said, surprised.

‘Well, that’s not what your ex employers just said, coz they asked me if I was doing business with that Count P##!’

That is a true story actually (I have used SP’s real name [which I changed - Otto] and I think he may be a Bytes subscriber). Now everyone calls him a silly old Count, and his wife The Countess!

Steve m

Thanks, Steve.

Steve’s comments are a good segue for me to repost one of my favourite limericks:

Ethnologists up with the Sioux
Wired ‘Send two punts, one canoe.’
The answer next day
Said, "Girls on the way,
But what in the hell's a 'panoe'?"


Readers may recall the very funny poem by Roy Jerden called “Redneck Christmas”. Those who want to read or revisit it can do so by clicking on:

It inspired Tim B to send me an email:

Well Otto, yer done donnit agin. I’m from Alabama and I shore did love that there poem. Seriously, I did enjoy it, and it did in fact remind of Home. I still have a hundred acres in Alabama with a cabin on it and it seems like every time I go over there, there is one more trailer on a lot down the street. I don’t think the kids move away from their parents, they just buy a trailer and put it in the back yard.

A guy from Georgia, true story here, hit the lottery and when they asked him what he was going to do with the money, he said, “buy a double wide and move to Alabama”, and I think that’s exactly what he did. God, I love the South and the people in it.

Now Y’all stay safe Otto, yer hear, I’m fixin to git ready fer bed.

Tim B
p.s. We lived with my grandparents in Flea Hop, Alabama, real community, when my Dad went to Korea in 1952. We had no indoor bathroom and used the outhouse behind the smoke house. It sure makes you appreciate the conveniences we have today, especially a warm bathroom on a cold winter morning. 😊

Thanks, Tim.

Your comments remind me that I too grew up with an outdoor toilet, or what in Oz was (and is) colloquially referred to as the “dunny”. I well remember walking barefoot on damp grass to go at night by the light of the moon, stepping on slugs and snails, trying to hold one’s breath for the duration.

Tim, following on from the comments in your email, here is an item for you:

Did you hear that the Governor’s mansion in Alabama burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.


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