Saturday, November 30, 2019

Thought for the Day

By the way . . .

The Doodle Man

Sam Cox is known as the The Doodle Man. 

Random, thoughtless drawings on whatever topics happen to be flowing through the artist’s head. Often done to relieve boredom. 
- Urban Dictionary 

For those not aware, “doodle” is also slang for the male genitalia, hence the scene in The Simpsons when Homer jumps out of the bath and runs out of the house naked. Off screen we hear Ned Flanders say “Homie, I can see your doodle.” Homer’s response is also heard off screen: “Shut up Flanders.” See the scene by clicking on:

It is therefore somewhat ironic that a man named Cox is also known as The Doodle Man. 

He is called that because he doodles on everything: walls, furniture, tunnels . . . he describes it as OCD, Obssessive Compulsive Drawing. As a child he doodled on schoolbooks and whatever else he could leave a line upon, as he grew older he kept at it. 

His doodles comprise characters, objects and patterns grouped together in what has been referred to as “graffiti spaghetti”. According to Cox, he has no pre-set intentions, the doodles just grow as he works on them. He uses large marker pens and spray paint, the doodles being mostly black lines on a white background. He has also depicted scenes by means of doodling. Commissions include for MTC and Adidas. His works are for sale and he appears at festivals making and selling doodles. 

Some of his works . . . 

Here are some pics of another format known as zentangle, which is like doodling but this time intended compositions concerned primarily with form, shapes and layouts . . . 


Friday, November 29, 2019

Thought for the Day

Funny Friday


 Time for some smiles at the end of the working week, as Christmas draws nigh.

Enjoy, dear Byters . . . 



After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."

A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.

The son said, "Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity." "Oy vey," said the father. "What have I done?"

He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do. Jacob said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do."

So they went to see the Rabbi. The Rabbi said, "Funny you should ask. I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do."

The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do.

Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, "Funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Israel..."

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't).

When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.

The beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on releasing atomic bombs like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable!

Eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, so I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peaked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table, with their hands to their noses, chorused, "Happy Birthday!"


A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. Whilst there, he was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, “I have to take your temperature.”

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.”No, I’m sorry”, the nurse stated, “but for this reading, I can’t use an oral theremometer.”

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, “I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!”

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man’s doctor comes into the room.

“What’s going on here?” asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, “What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?”

After a pause, the doctor replies, “Yes, but never with a daffodil!”



An original by moi . . .

There once was a randy Brit prince
Whose antics made Buck Palace wince.
The interview game
Did not reclaim his name
And he did not any convince.
"And he" . . .  get it?  [OK, groans}





It’s funny how 100 years ago everybody had a horse and only the rich had a car, but now everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

Oh, how the stables have turned,

A boiled a funny bone once.

It turned into a laughing stock. It was humorous.


(The fear of misspelled words)

I was abused by a South African anti-apartheid activist.


If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Thought for the Day

Replies, Responses and Comebacks, 21-26

Continuing the repost of the above items . . .


Because of the subject matter of this continuing series, there must of necessity be repeats of items or quotations posted in the previous 7 years of Bytes. For those who have read them before, hopefully you will find these as enjoyable on a re-read as for the first time.


21. Mandy Rice Davies:

Marilyn "Mandy" Rice-Davies (1944 – 2014) was a British model and topless showgirl best known for her association with Christine Keeler and her role in the Profumo affair, which discredited the Conservative government of British Prime Minister Harold Macmillan in 1963. 

Rice-Davies was never charged with being a prostitute, but Stephen Ward, another key figure in the saga, was found guilty at trial of being her and Keeler's pimp. That trial had been instigated only after the embarrassment caused to the government.

While giving evidence at Ward's trial for living off the avails of prostitution (immoral earnings, in U.K. law) Rice-Davies had it put to her by defence counsel James Burge that Lord Astor (with whom she claimed to have had sexual relations) had denied an affair or having even met her. She replied, "Well (giggle) he would, wouldn’t he?" (often misquoted "Well he would say that, wouldn't he?"). By 1979, this phrase had entered the third edition of the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations, and is occasionally abbreviated as MRDA ("Mandy Rice Davies applies") or referred to as the "Mandy Rice-Davies clause".

Mandy Rice Davies, 1964

“Prince Andrew denies having sex with the 17 yearold girl.” MRDA.

“President Trump says that he has not done anything for which he should be impeached. ” MRDA


At the height of the scandal, the first prime minister of independent Malaya (now Malaysia) Tunku Abdul Rahman arrived in London for a visit. At a reception at Heathrow Airport when asked what he wanted to do first, he replied "I want Mandi" which shocked the reception party because they did not know that "Mandi" means "take a bath" in Malay.


22. Władysław Kozakiewicz:

In 1980 the Olympics were held in Moscow. The US and various other countries had withdrawn from the games as a protest against Russia’s involvement in Afghanistan, so tensions were high. The Russians felt that their plans and efforts for a spectacular Olympics had been deliberately sabotaged and that they had been humiliated in the eyes of the world. 

In the pole vault, the battle for gold had come down to the Russian competitor, Konstantin Volkov, and the Pole Władysław Kozakiewicz (pronounced Vlad-is-lav Ko-za-kev-ich). At the time Poland was under the domination of the Soviet bloc, in effect Poland was run and controlled by Russia, a fact which the Poles hated with a vengeance.

The battle had come down to Kozakiewicz’s vault. A success would see him take gold, a fail would result in Volkov taking the gold and the Pole the silver.

As he readied himself and psyched for the jump, the Russian crowd in the Moscow stadium booed, jeered, whistled and yelled at Kozakiewicz, who maintained his concentration for the vault. He appeared not to hear them or to be aware of the noise directed towards him.

He made the jump, it was good, at 5.75m, and he secured gold. 

As he rose to his feet after landing, he turned to the hostile Russian crowd and delivered his salute to them:

Such a mannerism has an official title: Bras d’honneur, French for “arm of honour”, as does the middle finger extended, the Doigt d'honneur, “finger of honour”. The finger gesture dates back to Ancient Rome, where it was known as the digitus impudicus (impudent finger). It has also been referred in ancient Greek comedy for insulting another person. The use in other countries is probably due to Roman and Greek influence.

In Poland, Kozakiewicz’s bras d’honneur became known as “Kozakiewicz’s gesture” and photos showed it worldwide, except in the Soviet Union and its satellites.

After the 1980 Olympics ended, the Soviet ambassador to Poland demanded that Kozakiewicz be stripped of his medal over his "insult to the Soviet people". The Polish government replied that, having investigated the alleged insult, it was clear that the gesture had been an involuntary muscle spasm caused by his exertion.


23. Benjamin Disraeli:

Benjamin Disraeli (1804 – 1881) was a British statesman of the Conservative Party who twice served as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, in 1868 and 1874-1880. He has already featured in this series.

William Gladstone (1809 – 1898) was a British statesman of the Liberal Party. In a career lasting over sixty years, he served for twelve years as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, spread over four terms beginning in 1868 and ending in 1894. 

Disraeli and Gladstone were both politicians of extraordinary ability, but their personalities clashed and they heartily loathed each other.

On one occasion, Disraeli was asked to explain the difference between misfortune and calamity.

He replied:

“The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.”


24. Alfred Hitchcock:

In 1943 Hitchcock was directing “Lifeboat” which was released in 1944. 

Mary Anderson was one of the stars of the film.

That's her at the back.  Btw, Hitchcock alwaysd makes a cameo appearance early in his films (early so that viewers are not distracted from watching the film).  There is a limit to including a cameo in a movie that is entirely about people in a lifeboat.  This was his appearance:

During filming, Anderson said to Hitchcock “Which is my best side, do you think?”

Hitchcock replied “You’re sitting on it.”


25: John F Kennedy:

President John F Kennedy was the skipper of a PT (Patrol Torpedo) boat, PT 109, in WW2.

On the night of 2 August 1943 the destroyer Amagiri, cut through the PT 109 diagonally, knocking Lt. Kennedy down and sending him into the steel bulkhead. 

Two crewmen died. In the morning, having spent the night in the water, they made it to an uninhabited island, Kennedy swimming with a life vest strap of one of the injured men in his teeth. They were rescued on 8 August by islanders. Kennedy was awarded a Purple Heart and Navy / Marine Corps Medal. He was discharged in 1946.

When he ran for President in 1960, much was made of his war record. At one campaign stop he was asked by a young boy “How did you become a war hero?”

His reply:

“It was involuntary. They sank my boat.”


26. Viv Richards:

Sir Isaac Vivian Alexander Richards (1952 - ), known as Viv Richards, is a former Antiguan cricketer, who represented the West Indies at test and international levels. He is regarded as one of the greatest batsmen of all time. Richards was voted one of the five Cricketers of the Century by a 100-member panel of experts in 2000, along with Sir Donald Bradman, Sir Garfield Sobers, Sir Jack Hobbs and Shane Warne.

English bowler George Thomas, bowled three deliveries that went past Richards and to the keeper, Richards having swung but missed. Thomas walked up the pitch and said to Richards "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering. You’re supposed to hit it.”

On the next delivery Richards hit the ball out of the ground into a nearby river. He said to Thomas “You know what it looks like, now go and fetch it.”