Thursday, May 19, 2011

Funny Friday

From Byter Leo:

New Book:  
First volume of the new book "How to Understand Women" 

From Byter Vince:

A motorist was stopped by a cop for running a red light. The driver was a real jerk, stepped out of his car and strode toward the officer and demanded to know why he was being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly told him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly went on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms.

The tirade continued without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finished writing the ticket he put an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then handed it to the 'violator' for his signature. The guy signed the ticket angrily, and when presented with his copy pointed to the "AH" and demanded to know what it stood for.

The officer said, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an arsehole!"

Two months later they're in court. The violator has a bad driving record and he is in danger of losing his licence, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light.

Under cross examination the defence attorney asks; "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

The officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket you don't normally make?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an 'AH,' underlined."

"What does the 'AH' stand for, officer?"

"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile?"

"Yes, Sir.”

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for ‘arsehole?’ "

“Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.”

How often is it that you can get an attorney to convict his own client . . .

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