Friday, January 9, 2015

Funny Friday

Caution: Risque content

In the words of Monty Python . . . and now for something completely different. 

Well, it’s not actually completely different because this is Funny Friday, as usual. It’s just a different Funny Friday to the standard format.

I will explain.

Today’s item follows on from yesterday’s painted hands post. My own contribution prompted Byter Tim B to comment “Otto, thank you for telling us which one of the hand paintings was yours, otherwise I would never have guessed.” Thank you. Tim, it is always nice to have one’s work recognised.

But I disgress.

Quite some years ago, while browsing in Bob Gould's Book Emporium, I came across a marvellous book called “The Naughty Victorian Hand Book.” It was subtitled “Furtling: The Rediscovered Art of Erotic Hand Manipulation”.

There really is such a thing as “furtling”. According to the online Urban Dictionary, it is “The use of one’s hands to simulate or create the impression of anatomical features in a postcard or photograph. This practice was more commonly for entertainment purposes rather than overt sexual gratification. In an era before radio and television, Furtling was a somewhat common parlour phenomenon in the Victorian era."

The premise is simple. Certain parts of hands and fingers when hands are clenched, open etc, can be incorporated into drawings to create interesting, often risqué, images.  Even young hands can have old looking creases when closed, so that the varying appearances can be incorporated in ways that suit.

Unfortunately I no longer have that book but following are images of Furtling, both from the book mentioned above and from other sources:

Above are some examples of how the hand is placed underneath a page with a hand outline. The previous page is then laid over the first page with some funny, albeit naughty, results, usually with a story that accompanies the illustration:

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Now I realise that some people may feel cheated by not having a couple of wordy jokes.  The next few are for those who prefer their humour in word format rather than pdf: pics damn funny.

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A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.

The Old Man says, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea...Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board."

"But do they call me McGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention.

"But ya fuck one goat..."

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From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving is hands.

"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad."

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Corn Corner:

So I called up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck.

Turns out I phoned dial-a-llama.

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