Friday, September 16, 2016

Funny Friday

The Fridays seem to arrive faster these days.  

Sit back and enjoy some Friday Food Fun.

Caution though, there is risque humour included.

A businessman had arranged an important formal dinner party at his home where they were going to serve stuffed whole baked fish as the main course. While the guests were eating the appetiser, the cook came to the host and whispered "Please come urgently to the kitchen." The host went to the kitchen where the cook explained that while she was serving the starter, the cat ate a big chunk of the fish which they were going to serve. The host said, "Just fill the hole with stuffing and turn the other side up, nobody will notice." The fish was served and when they were nearly finished eating, the host was again called to the kitchen. The cook said, "The cat is dead!" The host rushed back to the dinner party and apologised, "Something was wrong with the fish and everyone must have their stomachs pumped out at the hospital." When they came back everything was still fine and the host went to ask the cook, "Where is the cat?" "Oh," said the chef, "The cat is still by the road where the truck ran it down!"

Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own.

A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?"

"Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?"

"I got fired."

"No, Bill -- I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, um, she got fired, too."

A tourist on a farm asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.

The farmer said, "That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw."

"So why does he have a wooden leg?" the tourist asked.

"One night, our house caught on fire, and he came inside and woke us all up."

The tourist asked again, "So, why does that pig have a wooden leg?"

"You can't eat a pig that brave all at once!"

I was in the supermarket, and I had these two shopping carts full of groceries, and I was waiting in line. This guy got in line behind me, and all he had was a jar of spaghetti sauce and some spaghetti. He kept checking his watch and looking at my two full carts, trying to hint for me to let him go ahead of me. I just totally ignored him, but then finally, I turned around. I said, 'Hey man, if that's all you have is that spaghetti sauce and that spaghetti, then you should just go ahead and do some more shopping because I'm going to be a while.'



Corn corner:

A mushroom walks in a bar, bartender says "Hey you can't drink here."

The mushroom says "Why not, I'm a fun guy!"

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