HAIKU ERROR MESSAGES

From the Vault

It has been suggested that life would be a little less harsh if computer fail messages were written in haiku.

I don’t know if that’s true, see what you think when you read what some have put forward as alternative haiku error messages . . . 

(Is it just me that hears these haiku in your mind as spoken in Kwai Chen Caine's pausing, stilted delivery in the old TV series Kung Fu?  Oh, it's just me.  I was asking for a friend.)

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

Yesterday it worked,

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

Stay the patient course.

Of little worth is your ire,

The network is down.

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes, and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,

but the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep

Or a rude error message,

These words: “File not found.”

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

The website you seek

cannot be located but

endless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

ABORTED effort:

Close all that you have.

You ask way too much.

First snow, then silence.

This thousand dollar screen dies

so beautifully.

With searching comes loss

and the presence of absence:

“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao, until

You bring fresh toner.

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

A crash reduces

your expensive computer

to a simple stone.

Error messages

cannot completely convey.

We now know shared loss.