Thursday, February 5, 2015

The Wit and Wisdom of Tony Abbott

As the sharks begin circling Our Leader, it is worth taking a moment to reflect on his utterances . . .

“If you want to know who to vote for, I'm the guy with the not bad looking daughters.”

“If we’re honest, most of us would accept that a bad boss is a little bit like a bad father or a bad husband … you find that he tends to do more good than harm. He might be a bad boss but at least he’s employing someone while he is in fact a boss.”

“I think there does need to be give and take on both sides, and this idea that sex is kind of a woman’s right to absolutely withhold, just as the idea that sex is a man’s right to demand I think they are both they both need to be moderated, so to speak.”

"No one, however smart, however well educated, however experienced, is the suppository of all wisdom."

“There will always be some issues that are contentious, but the best way to deal with them is openly, candidly and behind closed doors.”

On Fiona Scott, MP for Lindsay, when asked about the commonalties with Ms Scott’s predecessor Jackie Kelly in the lead up to the 2013 election:
“They're young, feisty, I think I can probably say have a bit of sex appeal and they're just very connected with the local area. . .  [Fiona Scott] is not just a pretty face.”

“These people aren’t so much seeking asylum, they’re seeking permanent residency. If they were happy with temporary protection visas, then they might be able to argue better that they were asylum seekers.”

“Now, I know that there are some Aboriginal people who aren’t happy with Australia Day. For them it remains Invasion Day. I think a better view is the view of Noel Pearson, who has said that Aboriginal people have much to celebrate in this country’s British Heritage.”

“We just can't stop people from being homeless if that's their choice.

“The argument [behind climate change] is absolute crap. However, the politics of this are tough for us. Eighty per cent of people believe climate change is a real and present danger.”

“Western civilisation came to this country in 1788 and I’m proud of that…”

During the lead up to the 20013 election:
"I am saying that I won't be doing deals with independents and minor parties. I'm not going to lead a minority government. And if there is a hung parliament, there won't be a Coalition government led by Tony Abbott."

“Jesus didn’t say yes to everyone. Jesus knew that there was a place for everything and it is not necessarily everyone's place to come to Australia.”

“I think it would be folly to expect that women will ever dominate or even approach equal representation in a large number of areas simply because their aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons.”

“I won't be rushing out to get my daughters vaccinated [for cervical cancer], maybe that's because I'm a cruel, callow, callous, heartless bastard but, look, I won't be.”

On Julia Gillard:
“Gillard won’t lie down and die.”

“The problem with the Australian practice of abortion is that an objectively grave matter has been reduced to a question of the mother’s convenience.”

“There may not be a great job for [aboriginal people] but whatever there is, they just have to do it... And if it's picking up rubbish around the community, it just has to be done.”

“While I think men and women are equal, they are also different and I think it's inevitable and I don't think it's a bad thing at all that we always have, say, more women doing things like physiotherapy and an enormous number of women simply doing housework.”

“I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... it [their virginity] is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.”

“What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up, every year…”

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Bonus pictorial . . .

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