Thursday, April 5, 2018

Funny Friday


With Easter just gone and having received an email from Byter Leo with some religious cartoons (some previously posted in Bytes but worth another airing), the theme this week for Funny Friday is religion.  So let us all ROFLOA.

Leo’s items . . .

I love this following one . . .


God used to create universes and flood the entire Earth. Now he appears on toast.
Anyone else less than impressed with the Almighty’s recent behaviour?

The first commandment states: “I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”
But two of the seven deadly sins are vanity and envy. Hypocrite!

* * * * * *
I may not be perfect, but Jesus thinks I’m to die for.

* * * * * *
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike, until I realised the Lord doesn’t work that way.
So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me instead.

* * * * * *
Bacon proves God has a sense of humour.
He invents the greatest meat in the world, then bans His chosen people from eating it.

* * * * * *
If God really made everything…
He’s Chinese, right?

Corn Corner:

A preacher was finishing a rousing sermon against the evils of drink. His voice filling the church, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."   Growing more impassioned, he shouted, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."   Finally, he thundered, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.

The song leader then stood up and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: 'Shall We Gather at the River.' "

 * * * * * *
 A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are flying together to an ecumenical convention. In mid-flight the plane encounters turbulent weather. The captain comes on the intercom.

“We’ve run into a major electrical storm,” he announces. “I don’t know if we’re going to make it. I urge each of you to pray in your customary manner.”

The rabbi chants: “Shma Yisroel, Adonai elohenu, Adonai echod!”

The minister sings: “Oh God, our help in ages past/ Our hope for years to come./ Our shelter from the stormy blast,/ And our eternal home!”

The priest recites: “Under the B, 7. Under the I, 22. Under the N, 39…”

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