Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Brett's Monthly and Steve's Wordplay

As usual, Brett B has sent me a list of the coming month's special days.  Thanks Brett.  Here is the list, click on the underlined ones to open the links . . .

August, 2018 Bizarre and Unique Holidays

  • Admit You're Happy Month
  • Family Fun Month
  • Dog Days of Summer - July 3 - August 11
  • International Clown Week - always August 1-7
  • National Catfish Month
  • National Eye Exam Month
  • National Golf Month
  • Peach Month
  • Romance Awareness Month
  • Water Quality Month
  • National Picnic Month
Weekly Events:
  • Week 1 National Simplify your Life Week
  • Week 2 National Smile Week
  • Week 3 Friendship Week
  • Week 4 Be Kind to Humankind Week
August, 2018 Daily Holidays, Special and Wacky Days:
National Girlfriends Day
National Mountain Climbing Day
National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
Grab Some Nuts Day
International Beer Day - First Friday in August
National Watermelon Day
Campfire Day - First Saturday in August
International Hangover Day - First Saturday in August
National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day
U.S. Coast Guard Day
National Clown Day - Satuday during International Clown Week
National Mustard Day first Saturday
Friendship Day - First Sunday in August
International Forgiveness Day - First Sunday in August
National Underwear Day
Sisters Day - First Sunday in August
Work Like a Dog Day
Wiggle Your Toes Day
National Lighthouse Day
Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor's Porch Day - now that's nasty!
Book Lover's Day
10 Lazy Day
10 National S'mores Day
11 Presidential Joke Day
11 Son and Daughter Day
12 Middle Child's Day
13 Left Hander's Day
14 National Creamsicle Day
14/15 V-J Day - which date do you celebrate as the end of WWII?
15 Relaxation Day - now this one's for me!
16 National Tell a Joke Day
17 Chinese Valentine's Day/Daughter's Day - 7th day of 7th Lunar Month
17 National Thriftshop Day
18 Bad Poetry Day
18 National Honey Bee Awareness Day - Third Saturday
19 Aviation Day
19 National Potato Day
20 National Radio Day
20 World Mosquito Day
21 National Spumoni Day
21 Senior Citizen's Day
22 Be an Angel Day
22 National Tooth Fairy Day - and/or February 28
23 Ride the Wind Day
24 Vesuvius Day
25 Kiss and Make Up Day
26 National Dog Day
26 Women's Equality Day
27 Global Forgiveness Day
27 Just Because Day
28 Race Your Mouse Day -but we are not sure what kind of "mouse"
29 More Herbs, Less Salt Day
30 Frankenstein Day
30 Toasted Marshmallow Day
31 National Eat Outside Day
31 National Trail Mix Day

And a word from Steve M . . . 

Morning Otto,

Have you ever done a segment on Lexophiles?

"Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish," or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless."

There is an annual competition is held by the New York Times to see who can create the best original lexophile.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPad's name to Titanic.  It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore.

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married.  They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?  He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.  That's the point of it.

. . . and the winner is:

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.

Thanks Steve. 😃

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