Friday, April 3, 2015

Funny Friday

A happy Easter to Bytes readers on this Funny Good Friday.

Some Easter humour to start the Easter holidays, a couple having been resurrected from past years but being too good not to include.

A real Easter miracle would be for Jesus to turn water into reasonably priced petrol.

What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross?

"Don't touch my Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday."

Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 across. "Where they nailed Jesus."

How to make Easter easier - replace the t with an i.


Arnold Schwarzenegger was upset that his mum never got him any Easter eggs.

She said, "I thought that you didn't like Easter anymore!" 

Arnie replied, "I still love Easter baby!"

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.


My 10-year old daughter drops a bomb at Sunday dinner: 

"I'm not a virgin any more ..." 

I turn to the wife: "That's your fault, you slut! Always flirting with other men, commenting on all the well-built men on telly, swearing like a trooper!" 

I turn to my 17-year-old daughter: "And you, you're to blame as well! You shag any bloke with a willy." 

The wife turns to me: "Shut the f*** up! You spend half your wages on whores, and I won't even mention the PC and internet. Then there's your secretary that you’ve been having an affair with, don’t think that I didn’t know. Well I’ve been having it off with your brother, so there..." 

The wife turns to our 10-year-old: "How could that happen, darling? Did someone seduce you, some boy at school?"

"No, Mum," she says. "The teacher just changed the cast in our Easter play. I'm not a virgin any more, just someone who cries near Jesus on the cross."

Corn Corner:

Not an Easter themed item but I have wanted to use this since I came across it a few weeks ago . . .

Archaeologists digging on a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. Experts believe it could be Pharaoh Rocher.

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