Friday, October 28, 2016

Funny Friday

Continuing on from the couple of cartoons about mobile phones (if you're American, read "cell phones") I posted a few days go, here is some further humour (if you're American, read "humor") on the same topic.

Mobile phones have become a ubiquitous part of modern living, especially for young people, so much so that Megan Fox commented "We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity."

Or how about . . . 

Enjoy Funny Friday and have a great weekend.

A family was on its way to the hospital where their sixteen-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride there, the teenager and her parents talked about how the procedure would be performed. Anaesthetics, incision, suturing afterwards, and so forth.

"Dad," the teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation, the man replied, "They'll just give you a cellphone to hold."

Speeding along at 60, there was a buzz from my mobile on the dashboard. 

"Your phone just went," said my wife. 

"It's only a text," I replied. "I'll check it when we get there." 

She picked up the phone, and looked at it suspiciously. Then she tapped the screen, scrolled down and started reading. "I thought so," she sneered. "It's yet another crap joke from Dave about women being bad drivers." 

"Watch the road," I snapped. "You just ran a red light."

I said to my mate, "You should treat your girlfriend the same way you treat your cell phone." 

He said, "What, take good care of her, and never lose her." 

I said, "No, upgrade every couple of years."

Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're panicking over who's next to go. 

Customer Care Executives (CCE) get all sorts of calls, some with genuine problems and some with no problem at all. There was this caller called David, who was paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him. "She never leaves any number, so I can't call her back," David said.

After sometime the CCE asked how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number. "She leaves her name," was the reply from David.

After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the CCE asked "How does she spell her name?" 

"L-O-W C-E-L-L" was the reply from David. 

Some years ago Michael Caine told of sitting near Her Maj, Queen Elizabeth, at a dinner and that Her Maj asked if he knew any jokes. Flustered at not knowing any clean ones to tell Her Maj, she told him this one:

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?

Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.

Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?

Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.

Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him?

Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.

Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???

Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here... but they are busy too....

Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!

Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.


How true is this . . . 

Corn Corner:

“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free."

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