Saturday, October 15, 2016

October and Beer

Byter Charles Z, a regular contributor of Bytes material and ex-USA, asked me in an email:
Otto - your Octo calendar of events .... Oktoberfest ....what determines the date in Germany? Sometimes it happens in the USA in September. Can you shed any light? 
BYTER CHARLIE (in the USA at the present!)
Here is your answer, Charlie . . . 

Oktoberfest, to use the German spelling, is a festival that begins in September and ends in October. The first Oktoberfest was held in the year 1810 in honor of the Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig's marriage to Princess Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen. The festivities began on October 12, 1810 and ended on October 17th with a horse race. In the following years, the celebrations were repeated and, later, the festival was prolonged and moved forward into September, the last day being the first Sunday in October.

According to the Official Oktoberfest website:
By moving the festivities up, it allowed for better weather conditions. Because the September nights were warmer, the visitors were able to enjoy the gardens outside the tents and the stroll over "die Wiesen" or the fields much longer without feeling chilly. Historically, the last Oktoberfest weekend was in October and this tradition continues into present times.
Charles, you’ve missed the 2016 Oktoberfest but, if drinking lots of beer in giant glasses served by big breasted women in low cut tops is your thing, here are the dates for the coming Oktoberfests in Germany:

2017: September 16 – October 3

2018: September 22 - October 7


On the topic of beer . . .

At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.

The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said." 

She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'Shit!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling."


Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologise when wrong. No further testing is planned.

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